I met with a very dear friend recently and she asked me how I was doing. With all that is going on in both of our busy lives it had taken 6 months to find a time to sit face to face and chat. Good friendships manage such long periods apart but there is nothing sweeter than a face to face chat with a best girlfriend.
I took a huge sigh and said I was exhausted. I had a little cry. I said that every day was another version of exhausted. Some days worse than others dependent on if our 23-month old Son woke through the night. I said I felt like I was failing in every aspect of my life. I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job. Anywhere. At home. At the office. In my business. Anywhere. I felt torn in 100 directions.
I am sure I am not the first Mum to feel like this.
You see, before Harry and marriage, I was running my own show. I really did do it all. Everyday. I prided myself on juggling the many balls; deadlines, teaching classes, enjoying my own work out, meeting new clients, email time, business development time. I impressed myself with how much I could achieve. I felt like I could do anything! And, really, I was doing well on all fronts!
Fast forward a couple of years and my dreams became a reality. I have a gorgeous Son, a wonderful Husband and a wonderful supportive family network. Everything I wanted, I had. After returning to work after Harry’s arrival, I took up a part time role in a Buyers Agency helping clients to purchase their home or investment property while still running my corporate health and wellness business and still maintaining a few yoga classes a week. I love the dynamism of it all but I am juggling a lot of balls. One thing my friend and I talked about was the fact I am barely exercising, I mean really, when could I possibly squeeze this in? I told her how I missed the buzz you get from a good workout but I struggle getting up any earlier than my Son (most mornings are a 515/530am wake up!).
Essentially, she said ‘You are a Mum to a toddler, what can you expect?’. Well, I guess I expected I could still do it all. Why would I have expected that things were not going to change? Was I that naive?
She said I should be proud of what I have. I have a wonderful little family and a happy and healthy Son. I have wonderful health. What else could you ask for?
I won’t say I am there yet but I am trying to do what I can to manage it all without the additional expectations I put on myself.
Here are a few things I am currently working on:
– Be grateful for great health
– Set the alarm for 4.45am – if rested enough go to the gym (amazing I am getting there twice a week!)
– Need extra sleep? Grab it when you can get it – make it a priority
– Call a friend once a week and nurture good friendships
– Create FaceTime opportunities with Harry and family and eliminate the driving to rest at home
– Quiet time on my way to work – meditation app, listen to relaxing music, quieten the mind somehow
So today I am writing to put my hand up and say you can’t have it all – unless you want to go crazy in the process!
Recognise what you are doing by writing it down and once you see it you too will be amazed at what you are doing. Love yourself enough to be kind and take a breath to slow down.
Anyone feeling like they are in a similar place?
I would love to hear from you.